Killing Me
by smile1
Summary: KateSawyer one piece. Jack's always had strong opinions, but trying to have a say in other people's lives doesn't always go as planned. Kate's her own person with a will that will give him a run for his money, but not Sawyer...


**Disclaimer: **I don't own the series Lost or the original characters. All I own is my imagination and the plot.

**A/N: **So, I'm probably not a familiar face when it comes to this section of Fanfiction, but I think I might just wander off in this direction more often since, just recently, I've rediscovered _Lost_ and its many intriguing characters, although my eye hassignificantly fallen on the characters of Sawyer and Kate, and on the undeniable chemistry between them. I love watching those two together on screen and get a kick out of writing them, so I hope that my very frist attempt at writing those two won't disappoint too much.

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**Killing Me**

_''Tell me a secret and I'll tell you mine.'' _

Kate moved quickly through the jungle, quicker than she normally did, not looking where she put her feet. All that she wanted was to get back to the beach, out in the open where she could hide among the other faces in a crowd, not wanting to be the center of attention. She had always hated being the one where eyes were drawn to without reason, though even in the jungle there was no place to hide, not for her. There was always a pair of eyes set on her, watching her every move and ready to judge, even though it was sheepishly denied each time. Now, she no longer asked nor did she care anymore if and when someone kept watch of her; if she would, she would find not only one, but two sets of eyes that constantly strayed in her direction, one of a friend and the other more of an enemy than a friend.

Jack.

When he had asked her to go into the jungle with him, she had thought nothing of it. She had been looking forward to his company, but when she had stopped to think about it, things didn't add up. The only times he had asked her to go into the jungle with him had been during their first few days on the island, when there had still been uncharted territory and people missing. Back in the days when there had still been hope. Now he mostly chose to stay near the caves, occasionally going up to the beach to make a couple of social calls. She was the one who tracked into the green maze in search of whatever food it could spare while he stayed put until he no longer could.

She had been blind-sided by Jack's natural kindness, so easily persuaded by a single one of his smiles because she wasn't used to having a honest heart around. However, his last smile had held more meaning to it, meaning of a different kind; he had wanted something from her, something other than an answer to one of his many questions. It had been a request, a gentle demand, a fair warning, all things she hadn't expected from him and didn't need from him either.

Out of all the people (he had to be the one).

Her face flushed in frustration and possibly even anger, Kate brought one hand up to her hair, sweeping it to the side, not wanting to risk an action as stupid as tripping over anything small. She heard the footsteps behind her, but didn't take any other notice of it, assuming that it was Jack who had ended up following her so he could choke out one of his apologies, thinking that it would make him the bigger man, but it didn't. It was already too late for an apology. He wouldn't mean it; when it came to Sawyer, all that mattered was Jack's stubbornness, making him anything but the bigger man.

She sped up, but still didn't go as fast as she wanted. She was still being too careful despite the share of cuts and scrapes she had had, so when the footsteps neared her, she wasn't all that surprised. It had just been a matter of time.

''Competing for the island's track team, Freckles?''

She recognized him by the rough edge of his voice and by the nickname he used on her, one she couldn't help but flinch at; she hated her freckles.

''I wonder what the good Doc has said or done this time,'' he went on, his eyes narrowing in mirth as she shot him an annoyed look. ''Come on now, sweet cheeks, you've got your panties up in a bunch 'cause of something. No point in denying that when it's so damn obvious.''

''Tell me again how that would be any of your business?'' she returned testily.

'' 'Cause I care.''

Kate snorted in response, taking slight pleasure in the way his brow wrinkled up just enough to show off his irritation. ''It kills you not knowing, doesn't it?''

''Who says I don't know?'' he replied swiftly and smoothly.

She looked away from him, hiding a faint smile. ''You would have already brought it up if you did.''

He wetted his lips with his tongue. ''Yeah, well, if you and the Doc wouldn't have been so damn secretive about it...''

''It was between me and Jack, Sawyer,'' she explained with a sigh. ''We came out here to have some privacy.''

''Forgive me, sweetheart,'' he began charmingly, off to a good start, ''but there's nothing to do on this god forsaken island but stare at the sky in the hope of a plane or anything else with wings, and not to kill everyone's mood, but they have a better chance of seeing hell freeze over; we are, after all, in the middle of damn nowhere.''

''So prying into people's personal business is entertainment to you?'' she asked rhetorically, an eyebrow raised. ''Too bad you followed us for nothing then,'' she said while tilting her head, catching a glimpse of blue in the distance; they were nearing the beach.

''You're killing me here, sweet cheeks. I'm bored as hell all day and your little rendezvous with the Doc are the only things that keep me going,'' he told her in an overly dramatic way.

Kate rolled her eyes. ''Maybe if you didn't sit around doing nothing all day you wouldn't be so bored.''

Upon reaching the last of the trees, Sawyer snatched her by her upper arm and pulled her back in the jungle, away from all of the curious gazes that lay waiting for them beyond all of the green.

''What are you doing?'' she informed once facing him.

''I want to know,'' he voiced firmly.

''I don't want to tell you,'' she started honestly, keeping both her voice and eyes leveled as she tried not to be intimidated by him, ''I don't want to get into anything, not now. Now let me go, Sawyer,'' she demanded in a nonchalant manner.

He tightened his grip on her arm. ''Not before you spill the beans on your little secret meeting with good ol' doctor Jack. Please,'' he added with a wry smirk.

She took an instant step back, tugging at her arm roughly so it would slip from his fingers. ''Why are you in such a desperate need to know?''

''Honestly, sweetpea?'' he asked, his smirk bitter as he continued, ''I think it had something to do with me.''

''Not everything is about you,'' she softly uttered to him.

He took a step towards her.

''Sawyer,'' she tried in a louder voice.

''Am I right?''

She turned her eyes away from him quickly as he moved even closer, knowing how well he could read people. ''Why can't you just mind your own business,'' she whispered almost wistfully, knowing that she had no chance of selling him a lie.

''Come on, Freckles, out and about with it,'' he said with a nod in her direction.

Kate lifted up her head, making sure that her back was straight and her shoulders were up as she met his eyes, though still somewhat tentatively. ''Do you really want to know what Jack wanted from me, Sawyer?'' She crossed her arms as if challenging him, although she knew that he wouldn't back off. He wanted to know. ''He wants me to stay out of your way,'' she confessed, putting it as delicately as Jack had done.

His eyes narrowed. ''Is that so?''

She nodded, turning her head to the side as she raked across her bottom lip with her teeth. She hated him for making her tell him. ''He doesn't trust you.''

Sawyer clicked his tongue a few times. ''Fortunately for him, I'm not his biggest fan either, so they're no hard feelings, about that anyway,'' he provided with a crooked smirk. ''Care to tell me what you think about the Doc's proposal?'' he inquired, his eyes now full up on her.

Her gaze lowered down to the ground they were standing on. ''I don't like being told what to do.'' Her eyes traveled back up. ''He knows that.''

''So, are you going to stay out of my way from now on?'' He gritted his teeth. '' 'Cause I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but you're not doing such a good job at it.''

''You're the one who's in my way.''

''Oh, I'm in the way...'' he trailed off as he took in the vulnerable position he had her in with an all-knowing smile. '''Well, what do you know, I am. Might as well take advantage of it while I can, don't you agree?'' he slyly finished off with a wink as he began to close in on her.

Having foreseen his actions, she started to backtrack, her arms uncrossing as she tripped over her own feet in all of her anxiety; she didn't like it when people came too close to her. She fell back, gasping in surprise when her back hit a tree, its rough texture making her winch lightly as it left its scratchy marks on the bare skin of her back.

''You alright?''

''No thanks to you,'' she snapped at him.

''Oh, so, now that's my fault, too.'' He lightly chuckled while advancing towards her once more, this time leaving her with no more room to run. He finally had her how he had wanted her ever since the first day he had come across her, her careless demeanor and tough attitude slowly unwinding him day by day; he wasn't used to girls like her, girls who weren't dependent (on him).

''Sawyer,'' she warned, seeing the bold look he now carried in his eyes.

''Freckles,'' he playfully toyed with her.

''Don't even think about it,'' she said once he was only inches away from her. Precautionary she brought both of her hands up to his chest, having in mind to push him away, although the action wasn't sudden enough to tip him off. All he did was stumble back a step or two, having new vigor to feed on as he quickly seized one of her arms, pinning it above her head as high as her arm would stretch. He waited before doing the same with her other arm, wanting to feel her squirm against him just for the satisfaction of it. He was much more gentle when lifting her other arm, pushing up the lower part first before sliding his hand up to her wrist in one slow and sensual movement, leaning into her as far as he could. ''Now, I'm in your way,'' he breathed close by.

She looked at him through her locks, tousled in their struggle for power. She didn't have to say anything, the fierce look she gave him saying more than enough. Still, he didn't back off, wanting to take their cat and mouse game one step further as he brought one hand down to her face. The other he used to keep her in place. Gingerly he wiped her stray curls aside and revealed her face to him. ''You know what, Freckles, you're not that bad from up close.'' He wasn't lying; her face was flawless.

''I don't care what you think,'' she commented, repeating the phrase over and over in her head. ''Let me go, Sawyer,'' she pleaded, him being too close for comfort now that she could feel each of his breaths against her skin.

He ran his index finger down the side of her face, his expression almost dreamy as he shook his head. ''I can't do that, sweetheart; I'm so close to getting what I want.''

She tried once more to free herself, putting up a weak fight where all he did to take her out was take one last step, placing him flush up against her. He took her chin between his thumb and index finger, making sure to apply more pressure to her wrists as he dipped his head.

''Don't,'' she said meekly, delaying his intentions for a handful of seconds as he searched her eyes for the truth behind her words. ''I'm going to enjoy this,'' he murmured at the end of his exam, their mouths now only an inch apart.

Kate's lips abruptly parted in protest, but he silenced her swiftly by pressing his own against them, not letting her waste as much as another second of his time. Sawyer cocked her head up some more, close to cracking a smile as her eyes fluttered shut in response. Letting go of her chin, he gently cupped her face instead, his fingers like flames nipping at her skin as they moved. As he slipped his tongue past her lips, crossing yet another line, she moaned in shock. He let his hand drop from hers, diving his fingers into her mess of curls, wanting to get tangled up in them.

Meanwhile, her hands retreated back down to his chest, instinctively balling up the fabric of his shirt between her fingers, holding on to him even when he was close to running out of breath. Another power struggle presented itself, leaving them both gasping for air in the end.

His chest heaved heavily as he tried to catch his breath while she tried to get a hold of her racing heart. She looked at him through her lashes, afraid to look at him directly. He had unnerved her and she wasn't ready to admit it, not to him. She could tell from the way his hands gripped her hips that he was ready for another round, but she wasn't, she was far from it.

She was distracted by the haunting image that was reflected in a pair of familiar eyes. ''Jack,'' she acknowledged, looking at him over Sawyer's shoulders. It was something she should have looked out for.

''You sure know how to kill a mood,'' Sawyer commenced, looking at the woman across from him for a little longer before turning slightly to look back at Jack, ''Doc,'' he finished, letting his hands drop from Kate's hips.

For once Jack didn't take any notice of Sawyer; he only had eyes for Kate. ''I expected better from you, Kate,'' he chided, hoping that his visible disappointment would make the guilt sink in. And it did, hard and deep for no good reason.

''Better,'' she repeated, taken back by Jack's assumption. She tightened her grip on Sawyer's shirt, needing the comfort. Jack's expectations were too high and she would never be able to live up to them. He was too good for her while Sawyer was just... wrong. And even though she knew that, she had still gone weak in the knees for him. She couldn't help it; she had a tendency to go for the wrong guys, one of her bad habits. She instantly let go of Sawyer's shirt and made clear with one look what she wanted. Posing as a gentleman, he stepped aside, not stopping her as she started to walk off in the direction of the beach.

''Nice going,'' he spat sourly over his shoulder as he too headed back over to the beach, not in the mood for one of his brawls with the oh so helpful doctor. He passed this time, for once, being the bigger man.

x-x-x

Sawyer left her alone for the remaining hours of the day, waiting until the sun had long sunk beneath the horizon before seeking out her company once again, unable to leave her alone any longer. He couldn't stay away.

''Hey, Freckles,'' he said when he was still a feet or two away from her, not wanting to shake her up any more than she already had been. He hid his hands away in his pockets, adding a certain casualness to his already calm pose, when on the inside, he was as restless as can be.

Kate smiled at the familiarity of his salute, making it seem as if they had known each other for years, as if they were friends when really they were anything but that. They both knew it. ''Sawyer,'' she acknowledged formally.

''I think our faithful Doctor is starting to get lonely without his trusty sidekick,'' he started off with a not so random comment, failing to break the ice as he took a seat beside her, ''and let me tell you, it's getting pretty damn pathetic.''

She didn't bite immediately, wanting to let the painful truth of the matter sink in first; she and Jack had been pretty much inseparable ever since their very first meeting. She had instantly clicked with him and spending some time apart from him had been harder than she had thought it would be. ''What are you trying to say, Sawyer?'' she asked with a glance in his direction, already knowing what bothered him about her closeness with Jack. She wasn't blind.

He shrugged. ''Just figured you would be back by his side by now.''

She turned her head, back to staring straight ahead. ''Well, I'm not.''

''Why?'' he pried.

''I needed some time alone,'' she admitted truthfully. ''At least he got the hint.'' She didn't really mean it.

''I thought you could use a friend,'' he told her.

Kate's gaze jumped back over to him, wanting to see how long he could keep a straight face. ''We aren't friends,'' she clarified when not even the hint of amusement could be traced. ''We're anything but friends.'' She turned her eyes away from him, somewhat ashamed of how she had just given him a glimpse of what was going on with her.

''Anything but, huh, sweetheart?'' He smirked.

''Shut up, Sawyer,'' she said, though a smile was close to breaking through.

''Well, we did kiss. And it was one hell of a kiss, even if I do say so myself.''

''Maybe Jack was right, maybe I should stay away from you...'' she offered as a thought, knowing that it would lead the attention away from the kiss. She wasn't ready to talk about it just yet.

''I never pictured you as a follower, Freckles.''

''I'm sitting here with you, aren't I?'' she countered promptly while seeking out his eyes with her own. ''Besides, I never pictured you as one to care.''

''I don't,'' he said in reply, trying to keep his cool.

A soft chuckle escaped from Kate's lips, the gentle smile of his own being enough to make up her mind. She scooted closer to him, showing him that he didn't need to worry about Jack's opinion. He was a good enough man.

''The cold getting to you, Freckles?''

She gently bumped his shoulder with her own, smiling almost shyly as they lost touch. He cocked his head to the side, looking down at her with a smirk as she averted his eyes. He contemplated putting an arm across her shoulders, but decided against it; instead, he took satisfaction in just sitting by her side, glad and even relieved that she hadn't brushed him off. He knew how much Jack's say in things could affect her. His smirk glided into a grin as he stole another look at her, her head now resting against his left shoulder. By the time his attention returned to what was before him, his mind had already begun to drift.

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**Please review? (: **Like I said before, I'm as green as can be when it comes to writing Lost Fanfiction, so if anything and/or anyone is out of character in any way, I apologize, because I'm still trying to get the hang of their characters. Still, I've got my fingers crossed that it wasn't that bad and that you'll throw another glance my way if and when I try my hand at another Kate/Sawyer extravaganza. Thank you for taking the time to read this. :) Oh, and if you come across any mistakes, no matter how small, please let me know. :)


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